“Everything sucks, some of the time.” You just have to decide what sort of suckage you’re willing to deal with. So the question is not so much “what are you passionate about?” The question is “what are you passionate enough about that you can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work?” ~ Elizabeth Gilbert & Mark Manson
These words set off a classic choir symphony of “aaaahhhhhhh” in my head when I read them. My last post was 20 days ago. TWENTY. DAYS. That is a long time to be uncreative & to be away from this space. This space that is mine, to create whatever I want, that I paid for to pursue & indulge in my so called passions.
If writing is my passion – which I know it is, because there is this hum of happiness inside me & joy I feel when I hear my fingers clicking at the keyboard – then why haven’t I been able to get myself to write a post in 20 days!? Why have I denied myself the hum & joy of expressing myself.
I’ll tell you why. With “bloggers/blogging” becoming a sensational worldwide occupation for creative people to start their own businesses by being so popular, relevant, topical & therefore successful, I find it puts a lot of pressure on you to tell a unique story that blows up because it is transferrable to what others are feeling as well. I have built up inside my head that these posts have to mean something or relate to someone other than me. If I am going to be a blogger, I have to blog about something people will want to read about. That being said, human experience is human experience; & I think I may be distancing myself from that. I keep feeling like “oh I won’t blog today because I have nothing to write about, I am not feeling anything significant enough.” Meanwhile, I know that 100+ thoughts have gone through my head that day that are current, topical & human for a 23 year old girl to feel. Truthfully, I think more bizarre & share-worthy things happen to me on a daily basis than most people. In the past 72 hours for example, I have told people about a crazy scenario that happened to me when I went to 2 bars that ended up being closed on Friday night (how often does that happen), the shitty relationship I’ve been dealing with for the past month & the “accident” I got into this morning (me vs. school bus) with back to school starting. My life is not dull – it is very far from dull. But still, I have not given myself happiness & joy in writing about what I consider daily occurrences in my bad luck lifestyle because I’ve felt they weren’t significant enough to other people to write about.
But that is why the words of Mark Mason in Elizabeth Gilbert’s book, “what are you passionate enough about” really hit me. I am passionate enough about writing that I want to do it often but I was letting the “most disagreeable aspects of the work” – being uninspired & uncreative – get the best of me. I am passionate about writing because I love to write & I am going to make this blog as simple as that. I will write every day from here on out & I won’t worry about who my story or perspective is impacting, because I know someone else out there has just as bad luck & positive thoughts as I do (or at least someone will get a kick out of it). I don’t need to be inspirational or giving advice or thinking of the big picture for now. I need to do what I love because I love doing it & that is what I am passionate enough about that I can endure the most disagreeable aspects of the work. I will create to create & I will be inspired by the simple act of hearing my fingers click against the keyboard & feeling happiness in sharing my simple stories.